Book TV/"Out damn spot!"

As I turned on Book TV last night, I saw a female author answering questions about her book. I couldn’t discern the subject matter immediately, but assumed it was a children’s book, since the name of the bookstore hosting the event was, “Women and Children First Bookstore.” The middle aged woman was standing at the podium, behind her, numerous book covers were visible; giraffes, tigers, fairytale characters, and enchanted and colorful landscapes peaked out from the background as her animated figure continued to address the audience.

In a matter of minutes, I became horrified to discover that she was an abortion doctor and was discussing her life as an abortionist. Struck by the stark incongruity of the scene, a seeming idyllic little play land surrounded by beautiful illustrations of merriment and fun, while, at the same time, a “mother figure” spoke blithely about the absolute necessity to keep abortion legal!

As sycophants in the audience kept plying her with opportunities to justify the intentional destruction of human life in the womb, she confidently hit her stride, elaborating on the nobility and courage required to stand up against the pro-life “radical right,” who constantly harassed “providers” like herself. She expressed her dismay that abortion clinics were being “marginalized,” in fact; many doctors were no longer doing abortions. Her greatest fear, that Roe might be overturned, could become reality, if they didn’t “ramp up” their fight.

As I sat there in shock at what was taking place in that children’s bookstore, one man raised his hand, the microphone was handed to him, he began by saying, “at the moment of fertilization a sacred human life has begun, as Mother Teresa…,” suddenly, the microphone was ripped away from him and the group went on as though the “offender” didn’t exist.

I noticed, however, a complete change in the body language of the abortionist. Her confidence seemed to vanish; a disturbed unsettled countenance overtook her features, although she was still “talking the talk.” I realized she was willing herself to this position, while in denial about the authentic struggle going on interiorly. My initial indignation subsided as the truth emerged. I could see utter vulnerability, an existential agony of separation taking place in her, underneath layers of denial and rationalization.

Of course, she had had an abortion, most militant pro-choice advocates have, and, not only had she repressed the guilt for years, she had also shared all this with her daughter, who now, in support of her mother, was also radicalized.

It was all so transparent and brought to mind the heart rending pathos of Shakespearean tragedy. “Out, damn spot! Out, I say!” “What’s done cannot be undone.” Another way must be found.

No longer mad, just heartbroken, heartbroken for all of us. We torture ourselves with denial and avoidance, while the only Person capable of “redeeming time,” of undoing the knots in which we have become entangled, waits outside the city, “Oh, Jerusalem, how often would I have gathered you under my arms, as a hen gathers her chicks, but you would not.”